Family Dys-Function
by ninjamonkeybutt
Summary: The Doofenshmirtzes and Flynn-Fletchers are breaking apart and getting closer together. Rated T for general language


][ Hello, I do not own Phineas and Ferb. I have been toying with this idea for a while and I think I have worked out some kinks to try it. Please enjoy. ][

Chapter One The Misunderstanding

Due to a misunderstanding between Roger and Heinz at their last family function, the Drusselsteinian authorities were called; their parents were locked up .. in separate buildings. This created an even harsher rivalry between the brothers. Neither really cared about what would happen to their father, but Roger truly loves their mother. However, neither brother visits the prison. Heinz doesn't care about them any longer and Roger is scared. He fears that if the guards discover he is a Doofenshmirtz, he will be locked away in the reformatory for men with his hateful dad.

Unfortunately, the built-up time both parents spend in their solitary entrapments with no one to visit and no windows to watch the smog-filled clouds causes them to construct a full-blown hatred. Mr. Meinolf Doofenshmirtz had stewed in his lonely cube, hissing at the meal carriers and drawing blood several times. Mrs. Bathilda Doofenshmirtz learned to suppress her anger. She had gained a few 'friends', as well as a reputation in the scrapyard. By the eighth month being held prisoner, Bathilda was awarded with supervised computer time (which only allows a select few websites and resources).

Drusselstein has evolved slightly, in certain areas. The men's reformatory is still stuck in the old days, but the women's prison is a little updated. The dial-up computer time is served for a strict thirty-five minutes. From merely a week of computer time (and help from an imprisoned hacker), Bathilda learns a lot of secrets about her sons. She does not only have one graddaughter and a robot. Instead, she learns of three granddaughters, a grandson and a robot. She is enraged, not because of Heinz but because Roger would choose to withhold this information from her.

At once, she devises a revenge scheme. Four-and-a-half months later, she receives ungodly news. Her husband is dead, killed (mostly) by starvation. Her fury takes over her body. Meinolf may have had his anger issues and flaws, but he was hers. Considering her sons didn't visit her, she is positive neither attempted to visit him. She decides Meinolf didn't eat because he was too stressed. They wouldn't allow the dog to come with them, so Only Son is either dead or drifting on the side of some road.

With an unholy newfound anger, Bathilda leads a fatal jailbreak. Without a shred of mercy, she attacks and kills three security members. When the other girls continue the fight for her, she heads home to grabs a few items before illegally heading for the states.

Meanwhile, the Doofenshmirtz brothers in Danville have just received word of their father's untimely death. Roger is given the news as he preps for his speech. Impatient with the notecards, he has his secretary Melanie recite the letter. She shows emotion as she reads, while Roger freezes. He rips up his notecards and walks back into his office. He cancels his speech, orders Melanie to leave early and locks his door for private mourning. Heinz is given the news during a backstory for Perry the Platypus.

Perry watches as he reads the letter nonchalantly. He then picks up a hammer on a side table and destroys his inator. He tosses the note on the table and places the hammer over it, and then unleashes Perry. The platypus has trouble reading his nemesis's partially blank, partially indifferent expression. He chirrs for a confirmation before leaving and the doctor simply shrugs.

"Makes no sense to finish the story now. It was basically an inator I was going to aim at my brother and father to make them stand straight for a full twenty-four hours."

Perry chatters again, not really seeing where he is going with this.

"Oh, you mean 'Why don't I need it?'"

Perry chirrs with a nod, inching toward the window.

"Because my father is dead." He answers simply, gesturing to the note as he makes his way to the kitchen for some coffee. "I just got the news."

Perry stops in his tracks. The platypus stares back up to the man. Though he shows a lack of interest, the trained agent can detect traces of guilt in the man's eyes. Perry lets out a consoling chatter and reaches up a paw. The doctor smiles a little, allowing more emotion to come through. The sentiment ends abruptly, though, when the doctor's apartment door opens and shuts.

"Dad, I'm back!"

She rounds the corner, holding a brown bag of groceries. She stops short nearing the two. She eyes a hammered inator with the evidential hammer lying on an opened letter, and her dad with his nemesis holding hands. There is a sadness in both of their eyes and the agent is directed slightly toward the note. Vanessa slowly sets down the bag and inches closer. In an instant, Heinz lunges for the note; as does Vanessa. Perry is knocked down in the battle and grabs it first. Norm walks in as the Doofenshmirtz duo is chasing the platypus. Perry jumps and rests on Norm's shoulder.

"Get down here, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry shakes his head and sighs to maintain his breathing.

"Norm, grab Perry the Platypus and bring him down here."

Perry's eyes widen as the robot man eagerly obeys his 'father'. His wide eyes turn to a scowl as Heinz retrieves the letter. He presses a button on the edge of Norm's sleeve, igniting a blowtorch on the tip of the index finger of the hand holding Perry. The platypus and his daughter are equally as shocked by the torch, as well as watching Heinz use it to burn the letter to a crisp.

"Thanks, Norm. You can let Perry go now."

"No problem, Dad." The robot answers cheerfully. "What can I do now?"

He rolls his eyes. "Go make muffins."

"YES, SIR!" He charges to the kitchen, leaving the others behind.

"Okay, Dad. What was all that about?"

"Come to the couch. I have something to tell you."

Vanessa looks between the doctor and the monotreme, and realizes it is something very serious. The three sit on the couch and Heinz starts up.

"I didn't want you to read by letter. I wanted to tell you myself."

Perry chirrs as if to say 'You could've told me that.'

Heinz shrugs and continues. "Remember that function a while back, the one where you left after only an hour?"

She nods. "Sorry bout that, by the way."

"It's okay, Pumpkin. Your uncle Roger and I got into a huge fight, that eventually drug in our Aunt Gertrude, cousin Brandon and my old neighbor Kenny."

"Yes, I know. You told me about it." She reminds him. "The cops were called and you and uncle Roger spent a night in jail."

Perry perks up at this little mention, but he can tell Heinz is just getting started.

"Yes, Honey. But what I didn't tell you is, we also brought our parents in on this argument. It strung out so far, your oma accidentally admitted she and your opa don't have their green cards. They were sent to separate prisons in Gimmelshtump. Well, you know how your opa is."

Vanessa frowns and squirms a little. "Is Oma okay?"

Perry arches an eyebrow and Heinz continues. "I haven't heard anything bad about her."

"Opa's sick, isn't he?"

" . Not anymore."

"He's . dead?"

Heinz nods, reaching out a hand to console her and motioning to Perry to do the same. He reluctantly does so and Vanessa leans against the comforting touch.

"How?" She demands after a minute.

"Starvation."

Her eyes widen and she stands in a rush. "You do the same thing! I don't wanna lose you! I don't wanna lose you!"

She had startled Perry, who took a tumble to the floor. Vanessa is in Heinz's face, squealing like a child. The man seems used to this and wears a calm, comforting smile. He gingerly holds her tight and runs a hand down her hair, down her back.

"Don't worry, Princess. I've got you here. There's nothing to worry about."

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\+ Please review and I will start writing more. + 


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